Sia | Chandelier [Piano Version]
why can’t there be a boob transfer system for all women?? like, a girl can be like “I have an F cup and I really want to go down a couple of sizes because my back hurts” and a girl with an A cup could be like “Oh could you transfer some of ur boob tissue to me because I’d like to go up a size” and it would be done
do you have any idea how great that would be
ok but imagine if trans boys could donate their boobs to trans girls
ACTUAL PROOF that there is NO SKELETON WAR
no this is how the government is trying to hide the truth
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.
I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’
Manager: ‘No. A what?’
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’
He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.
Do you have anything else?’
Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why?
Server: ‘I don’t know.’
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’
He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’
Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’
Server: ‘What should I do?’
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back.
The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’
Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’
Me: ‘Why not?’
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’
Me: ‘What on earth for?’
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.
A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’
Security Guard walks over to me and……
Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’
Me: ‘Uh, no.’
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’
At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,
Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’
The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
“Can I touch your butt” in Elvish.
This is so useful
No, this is not “Can I touch your butt” in Elvish. This is “Can I touch your butt?” in English, transcribed using the letters of the Elvish alphabet. There is a difference.
In Elvish, the letters of the alphabet correspond to sounds, not to words. The above text spells it out using one symbol to represent one letter of the original English, which is incorrect:
- c-a-n i t-o-u-c-h y-o-u-r b-u-t-t
If you really want to spell out an English phrase using the Elvish alphabet, you would do so phonetically, which would basically equate to one symbol per phoneme (sound):
- c-a-n a-i t-u-ch y-o-r b-u-t
If you actually wanted to write “Can I touch your butt?” in Elvish, one (very rough) translation would be:
Annog nin daf pladan tele ci?
Which, in Sindarin Elvish, roughly translates to, “Would you give me permission to touch your rear?”
Written in tengwar (the Elvish alphabet), it would look like this:
Sorry for the blurry quality.
damn, the lotr fandom doesnt fuck around
not to mention LOOK HOW POLITE THIS WAS
LIKE GOOD LORD
OLDEST FANDOMS REALLY ARE POLITEST
Proud of my fellow lotr members.
OH VAMPIRE LAKE
TEACH ME EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW
Steal her look.
Sulfuric Acid- 420$
She on beat like a muhhfucka
shoutout to her for being so positive while going through chemo
FUCK ME UP MARY BETH
a japanese company is about to start selling eye glasses based on type design.
this is a dream come true.
i like this guy
Wtf is hoth? I’m confused America
HOTH IS AN OUTER PLANET FROM STAR WARS THAT IS COLDER THAN EVEN RUSSIA’S DEEPEST WINTERS YOU UNCULTURED POTATO
Reblogging for that last comment
Midwest weather is so effed up. It’s horribly inconsistent.
(( Last January here in North Dakota, I remember there was a night with wind chill, it was -70 F. On a couple occasions, the midwest was colder than the temperature on the planet Mars, ))
Last comment—North and South Dakota are literally frozen planets.
I just fucking love her.